Chris Packham Develops New Owl

Wildlife presenter Chris Packham was celebrating today after developing a new kind of owl. The dimutive animal fan, 37, has spent 3 years working on a new kind of wing which will enable owls to spend up to 3 weeks airborne without landing.

Chris said “The main difficulty was maintaining trajectory during pellet emission, as more often than not we’d see the backthrust created by the expulsion cause the owl to halt mid air and flap it’s wings in a comical fashion before plummeting to it’s death. However we finally cracked it by adding an auxilary chuff duct which releases an equivalent phut of air, cancelling out the effect.”

The new owls are expected to roll off the production line sometime in 2015, and while initially expensive, Packham hopes that demand will be high enough to drive the price down so low that even the poorest children in all England will be able to afford their own owl.
Johnny Morris was unavailable to comment as he died in 1999.


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